Ten Minutes Of Misery

Leap Year

2005-01-10T04:22:00.000-08:00

Just woke up from a dream that I have had at least once before last night. I am running at a frantic pace high above the treetops along a jagged path of cinderblocks and wooden boards. Eventually, I reach a very difficult area with steeply-angled beams and awnings, and it becomes very difficult to continue. After a few minutes, I finally reach a final sharply-slanted ledge, and I end up hanging off the edge of this, with no more moves to make. Calmly, I let go and plummet through the trees until I land on a hill below. My outcome is unclear, but in my dream I am at least able to get up and move around a bit.

I know what this dream means for me. I just have to remember that I have had it and trust its message now.

Live Lemonaid

2004-12-06T22:05:00.000-08:00

Finally picked up the Live Aid DVD set today after checking my local big box mega-retailer two or three times last week to see if it was back in stock. This won't be a very comprehensive review since I've only sat through the first disc so far, but if nothing else, I can at least say that after reading some of the complaining and nitpicking from other reviewers, I am truly ashamed to be an American tonight.

For a relatively minor star from the Rock & Roll galaxy like Bob Geldof to fill up two of the biggest stadiums in the world with such a wide array of talent, it was truly an impressive feat to say the least. As with all spontaneous musical events, Live Aid had its high points and its not-so-high points. But who played what with whom where was hardly the issue here. This was one day where hundreds of thousands of music fans got together to do something truly magnificient for the people of Ethopia, and I think many of the other reviewers are missing that very important point entirely.

I remember getting up super-early that morning and turning on MTV to catch the Boomtown Rats play a few tunes to an audience bigger than the combined number of people who had even heard of the band up to that point. Later that day, I tossed my Panasonic boombox in the back of my '66 Mustang convertible and drove around listening to the show with a good friend for most of the afternoon. It really was a special day in my life, and I think I appreciate re-living it through this DVD set even more now knowing how much good came from this effort.

So rather than spending your money on some other pointless crap this year, I suggest that every fat, lazy and spoiled American music lover who reads this review immediately adds this collection to their shopping carts. With the huge range of musical styles and eras covered, there is bound to be something you like somewhere amongst the ten-plus hours of video presented here. And if nothing else, you will be contributing to the legacy of a charitable organization that has helped so many people over the years, and will continue to provide aid to them from the proceeds of this release. Because the whole point of the holiday season is to share and appreciate what you have, and not to dwell on what you think you are missing, isn't it?

The Finish Line

2004-11-27T17:49:00.000-08:00

Just put the finishing touches on my last project for school this quarter. One of my assignments was to write for ten minutes every morning, and considering I'm not being graded for doing this or anything, I am impressed that I kept it up for this long. I assume I'll take a break for a bit, and then maybe pick this up when I feel like again in a few weeks.

I guess I don't really feel the need to express myself on a daily basis, although I can certainly get in the mood from time to time. If nothing else, this is a good way to document when things happen in my life, since it all tends to be a big blur after a while.

In other news, I got my first rejection letter from a teaching position I applied for last week. It was in some super-fabulous suburb near San Francisco--like we'd ever be able to live there on a teacher's salary! Still, I was happy to get some response, and it least it makes me feel like I'm doing something about my present work unhappiness.

Well, I am totally unmotivated to continue this today. Have a good holiday season, fellow bloggers, and I'll see ya later--if I see you at all.

More Bitching About Work

2004-11-21T13:43:00.000-08:00

Last week, my shift partner for the last three years got moved over to a different department. I am happy for him and everything, but when I asked who I would be working with now, they said nobody! Even though our company is actually making money now, they still take every chance they get to cut back on the one thing we are in dire need of around here--more employees!

I estimate I will now be doing 35% more work, of course for the same pay. During the week, there is another person who works with me part of the day, but on the weekends (I work every other one), I am all by my lonesome. Though I won't mind the peace and quiet, I am responsible for assisting customers at two different buildings at once, which becomes slightly difficult when there is only one of me. Also, there is now a third building that I occasionally have to visit, so I'll be getting plently of exercise for sure.

Furthermore, I enjoyed the fact that my partner and I both had our own unique set of strengths, so he would work on certain kinds of jobs that interested him, and I would work on others. To tell the truth, I don't know if I can even find the will to pick up the skills to do some of the jobs that he used to do, though it doesn't look like I have much of a choice.

I hate being a spoiled brat who constantly complains about his work situation. I know I am just supposed to shut up and try my best to adapt to these new responsibilities. But I just can't get over the fact that this job keeps moving further and further away from anything I would have ever considered as my career, and I don't really see anything on the horizon that is likely to change that fact.

Which Way Does The Hand Go?

2004-11-18T07:27:00.000-08:00

I am from Michigan, The "Great Lakes" state.
Except I didn't grow up anywhere near any lakes,
great or otherwise...

Specifically, I am from Oak Park.
And yes, Virginia, there really was a park.
It was called--The Oak Park Park.

I'm from digging holes and 8mm movies.
Ones starring outer space aliens and super-heroes.
I'm from pricker bushes and old, wooden skateboards.
The kind with wheels made of cement.

I'm from the land of ice storms and frozen over gutters.
And that "crazy Michigan weather," where the craziest thing about it
is that people choose to put up with it year after year after year.

Firing Up The Fox!

2004-11-16T05:20:00.000-08:00

Made the big switch over the weekend. Well, actually, it was a little switch. Finally got rid of IE and set myself up with the Mozilla Firefox browser. Being a Mac guy for most of my life, it was kind of bugging me that everything I had on my PC was made by Microsoft, so I though I would break their stranglehold over my computer and give the new kid on the block a shot.

I'm happy to report that the set up couldn't have been easier, and you can even transfer your preferences and bookmarks right over to Firefox. I really like the dead simple layout, and the fact that you can customize you browser in about a million different ways. Also, since we are the last hold-outs still using a dial-up at home, I notice (and am thankful for) any little speed increase I can get. I notice that web pages open quicker with Firefox, and pictures seem to open one at a time, instead of the haphazard way they open with IE.

I also love the fact that I can control iTunes from the menu bar, and that I can configure the buttons in any way that I see fit. I even downloaded a plug-in that displays the security threat level right in the bottom corner of the browser window, just for comic effect (we are "elevated" today, btw).

Overall, I would recommend that anybody still using Internet Explorer give it a shot. It doesn't really change anything, and you can always go back to using IE if you don't dig Firefox. But I really do dig it already, and with all those Open Source developers working out there to improve it, something that seems pretty great already is only gonna get better.

One Foot In The Clutter

2004-11-13T06:23:00.000-08:00

There is entirely too much stuff in the world. We consume mass quantities of everything, and then have no idea where to put all this junk when we have lost interest in it. Some people, like my landlord for example, feel the need to hold on to everything they can get their hands on, as if he even knew what he owned or where to find it by this point. This includes old bank statements from the '80s, the remaining paperwork from every Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes entry he has ever sent in, and a pile of old TV Guide magazines in his apartment that is stacked up so high that even the cat doesn't dare try to jump up on it anymore.

I have no problem throwing things away at least, or using my "Power Seller" status to redistribute my possessions on eBay. Nevertheless, I still have a garage full of books, video tapes, and old clothes that I am absolutely dreading having to deal with when we eventually move on out of here. The problem with these items is that everyone else also has them, so both eBay and garage sales have a limited potential for removing these items from my care. Maybe I'd have better luck selling them by the pound or yard.

The problem with our place is that the garage is too small to fit a car in it (I know this makes very little sense), but still plenty big enough to swallow up huge amounts of worthless crap that stays out of my mind and sight the moment I box it up and stick it up on a shelf in there. Maybe we should sell the whole garage and its contents sight unseen, and let somebody else sort this whole mess out!

I've Come To Wish You An Unhappy Birthday

2004-11-12T06:46:00.000-08:00

Here's a little bit o' sunshine to brighten up your day...

I'll be 38 years old next week. In so many ways, I am thankful to still be on this planet. I have no major health problems or diseases. I love my wife and am grateful that she chose to spend her life with me. We have no real debt to speak of and no kids! Really, I am doing so much better than so many people I hear about, financially and otherwise.

Nevertheless, compared to people in my immediate circle of friends, I suck! My car is a piece of junk. I rent. I haul my ass to the laundromat three times a week. We have less than $150 that I can physically access right now. Even though I make a decent living and we try to keep our spending down, we just can't seem to ever put anything away. So, the danger of credit card debt is ever-looming in our lives. That is a place I have been to before, and I for one am not looking forward to making a return trip.

Many of my co-workers who make about the same salary as I do have kids. And yet they are able to buy homes. And new cars. And go on vacations. Since I've been married, my wife and I have never really gone anywhere together for more than a couple days. Unless you count visiting our parents. Which is not much of a vacation, as far as vacations go. What do these people know that we don't?

If this all wasn't bad enough, I am seriously considering quitting my job next year and going in to the field of teaching. That means a thirty-thousand dollar pay cut from when I am at now. We can't even save any money at this level, so I just don't see right now how this could even work.
And ya know what, this whole voyage into negativity ain't doing a damn thing for me this morning, so goodbye.

All Boys Believe Anything

2004-11-11T07:31:00.000-08:00

I recently responded to one of those scam e-mails offering to deposit a huge sum of "unclaimed" money into your bank account or some such nonsense. Here is what I received back:

Dear Roberts,

Thank you very much for your response, and your interest in this transaction.Like I said before, due to this issue on my hands now,it became necesary for me to seek your assistance, I appreciate the fact that you are ready to assist me in executing this project,and also to help me in investing my money in your country. You should not have anything to worry about.

I will do everything legally required to ensure that the project goes smoothly, it shall pass through all Laws of International Banking Having resolved to entrust this transaction into your hands, I want to remind you that, it needs your commitment and diligent follow up. If you work seriously,the entire transaction should be over in a couple of days.

I do speak english language but do not understand portuguese, but the most important thing is that you should be able to read in english because all the document are going to be perfected in english language.

READ THE FOLLOWING AND GET BACK TO ME:

Firstly, I will want to know the type of occupation that you do and how old you are. You should note that this project is highly capital intensive.This is why I have to be very careful. I need your total devotion and trust to see this through. I know we have not met before,but I am very confident that we will be able to establish the necessary trust that we need to execute this project.

I am now in contact with a foreign online bank. I now intend that you open an account in your name in this foreign bank.The money would be transfered to your account which you will open in the bank for both of us, this is the best way,I have found, it will protect us from my bank. I want us to enjoy this money in peace when we conclude. So you should listen to my instructions and follow them religiously. Also You have to know that I cannot transfer this money in my name as my bank will be aware that it is from me. This is where I need you.

As result of this,you will have to open an account in the corresponding bank. I will obtain a certificate of deposit from this my bank,it will be issued in your name. This will make you the bonafide owner of the funds. After this, the money will be banked online for both of us.We can then instruct the bank to transfer our various shares into our respective home bank accounts. I will also perfect the documentations with the assistance of my attorney to give the transaction the legal right.

To buttress the legitimacy of the funds release, all legal documentation, processing filling, and issuance of approvals is being handled by a Lawyer whom is based here and is an authority in international transactions. We do intend to bring all aspects of the Project within the realms of all laid down procedures as obtained in inheritance payment transfer, thus giving the Project and the transfer itself all legitimacy needed and ensuring total consistency with all legalistic requirements.

It is important for us to ascertain definitely, the enjoyment of the funds with absolute peace of mind after the transfer. To this effect, all modalities have therefore been put in place, to immediately retrieve and destroy all documents relating to the funds release, immediately after the transfer has been made. The Lawyer is totally and must remain totally ignorant of the true nature of the transaction as long as you have the entire legal claim to the funds.

Before I commence,I will need you to send me a copy of any of your identification (Driver's licence or International passport) and your current address. I want to be sure that I am transacting with the correct person and i will also send u mine. As soon as I get these from you,I will commence the paper work.

(i) Name of Beneficiary
(ii) Beneficiary's Address.
(iii) Contact Telephone and Fax numbers

I hope you will understand why I need all these. The money in question is big and I want to ensure that I know you well before I proceed to give you all the details to commence the project. I will also send you my international passport upon receipt of your identification.

I will send the name and contact details of the bank and their website to you so that you can commence communication with them. Ensure that you keep this project confidential, do not discuss it with anybody,because of the confidential nature of this transaction and my work.

Please reply soonest.
Regards,
Mr. Wang Qin.

Red In The Face

2004-11-09T14:19:00.000-08:00

I normally don't like to get too personal in this blog--I mean, really, who cares all that much or needs to hear it from me expect my loved ones. Nevertheless, for lack of anything better to write about today, I'll tell y'all about my horrible illness.

I lived the first thirty years or so of my life in relatively good health. But as I entered my 30s, I started noticing something that had me kind of concerned. After ignoring the symptoms for, oh, about a half-a-decade or so, I finally got myself checked out. And wouldn't you know it, I had an actual thing wrong with me!

The name of my hideous condition is Rosacea. And basically, it just means that my face is red. All of the time. Although it is hardly anything to write home about as far as diseases go, it is nevertheless something that is starting to really get on my nerves lately. The only treatment for this is a low dose of Tetracycline twice per day for the rest of your goddamn life! How is that any kind of a treatment really? Furthermore, I've been on this stuff for a couple years now, and it doesn't even seem to be doing all that much anymore. I mean, at some point, I would think you'd just become resistant to this stuff anyway, and I'm guessing that is what is going on presently.

You'd be surprised how many people ask me about this stupid affliction, like I had some control over it. So, for the record, I don't know why I look red. But I swear it is not my fault. And there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. So give it a rest already. I don't ask you why you are an idiot now, do I?

Heavy Duty

2004-11-07T17:18:00.000-08:00

So I did something stupid just now. A few months back, I got called for jury duty, but I called in to postpone since it would have conflicted with my school schedule. I tried to move it to a time when I was between classes, but they just ignored my request and picked some arbitrary date for me again way off in the future.

Well, that day has come.

I guess I just assumed I could postpone this over the phone one more time, but NOOOOOO! It now looks like I should have called in last week to reschedule, but I just never bothered and now I have to show up tomorrow at 7:45! Normally, I actually don't mind jury service, but I am just not in the mood to deal with it right now. Plus, my work only covers part of my salary, so I lose about $150 each day I am supposed to show up for work but end up sitting in the Superior Court building instead.

I am hoping I can just show up and get this postponed again, because there is just no way I can fit this in right now. Worst case I think is that I will have to sit there all day tomorrow, and then I think I'm done if I don't get called. My wife just served as well, and that is what happened to her. I think they asked her to sit on a panel for a trial that was going to last for two months, but as you can imagine, they didn't find too many takers for that request.

I had a really great experience last time I served, and I got to sit for an interesting trial that only lasted a couple of days. It was actually a nice break from work, and I felt good that we let a guy off who had already been sitting in jail for six months for some crime that the prosecution had absolutely no proof that he committed. I guess if worse comes to worse, I can just retell that story in the courtroom, and they will probably kick me right out the door.

Observant Jew

2004-11-06T05:36:00.000-08:00

Back in high school, I knew a girl with the unlikely name of Lai Ling Jew. She was always real friendly with everyone, and was just one of those people who you liked to be around (guess it helped a little that she was a stone fox). She was always involved in journalism and in putting together our school yearbook (see my last post), so it was not surprising that she moved out to New York and eventually landed a job with NBC as a reporter/producer. Well as it turns out, she has now landed herself in a big old brouhaha over the missing explosives from that ammo dump in Iraq (no, she doesn't have them).

Apparently, she was the only "embedded" female reporter in Iraq who spent any time near the storage depot with the unlikely name of Al QaQaa. I don't think she saw all that much when she was there, but I guess that is the whole point. Basically, from what I can gather, her take is that the military just made a brief stop at that facility, poked around a bit, and kept on moving. I guess the soldiers asked whether they should leave someone behind to guard the joint, but they never got a response back and just continued on with their mission.

In any case, Lai Ling's name is all over the place now, and I don't think one person has gotten it right yet! For the record, it is "Lay-Ling." And, yes, it is actually Jew, even though she actually isn't one. I've seen posts that run the gamut from people saying that she is either a lying jew, one of those pandas at the zoo in Washington, DC (my personal favorite), or just a made-up name for some operative of the Kerry campaign who is trying to discredit Bush. So I thought I'd set the record straight here on this one to let everyone know she is really real. Either that, or I was having a conversation with myself for ten minutes at my recent high school reunion.

The funniest bit of this whole story is that there is exactly one picture of her on the internet, and it is all my fault. I was putting together a page on my website with pictures of some of my former classmates, which happened to include Lai Ling's senior picture. Now, anybody who is wondering what she looks like is directed to an image of her on my server from 1984, complete with a shiny white blouse and hideously huge bangs! Oh well. I guess if she survived chasing the U.S. Army through the sands of Iraq, she can survive this, too.

Repairing The Damage

2004-11-04T07:02:00.000-08:00

A few years back, I asked my folks to send my high school yearbook from the year I graduated out to Los Angeles. They threw it in a box with a bunch of other stuff, and by the time it got here, it looked like the book had been given a beatdown by Mr. T somewhere along the way. I've always felt bad about this, but figured there wasn't much of a chance of getting hold of another copy. I even tried to call the school on a couple of occasions just to see if they didn't have a stash of them sitting up on a shelf somewhere, but I never was able to get a response from anyone.

And then the impossible happened.

Yesterday, I woke up, and for some reason, decided to poke around on eBay for a while. Within about five seconds I had found my yearbook! Now this may not seem like such a big deal to many of you out in Bloggerland, but if you really think about it, what are the chances of finding a twenty-year old book that probably had an original run of less than 500 copies? I gotta think the chances would have been a big, fat zero before eBay, that's for sure! And this is something I've been looking for going on about a decade now, without any real hope of success until yesterday.

Furthermore, we are talking about a high school yearbook here. How many people ever get rid of those? These books are a particularly beautiful and poignant reminder of our former selves--a perfectly preserved time capsule of what we were doing and thinking at the point in our lives when anything seemed possible.

The bigger question I guess is who ever gets rid of these things? When does somebody come across an old high school yearbook at any point in their lives and say "now there's a good way to make a quick ten bucks on eBay!" Even if the former owner of the book dies, you would think someone else in the family would want to keep this significant document from the person's life. It is just a book. It is not like inheriting a piano or a Great Dane or something.

There is a name embossed on the cover of my new copy. So I guess I'll find out the answer to that question soon. Assuming, of course, that this copy doesn't end up getting mangled during shipping as well!

Greetings Earthlinks

2004-11-03T17:36:00.000-08:00

Here is the text from an e-mail I just received (I've highlighted the good parts):

Dearest EarthLink user,

This is an automated email-notification sent to your registered email address.
Please don't reply to it as it will't reach the just department.

Recently there have been many reports of fraud activity regarding stolen account information and stolen identities. This requires a full update on your records matching our database information to suit the future prolongation of account billing. You will be prompted to provide full and complete information regarding your account with us just so you can identify your online personality.

Please take five minutes to fill out the forms. Failure to update your online records will result in a halt of your email account and a possible reactivation fee.

Please Push here to refresh your billing information.

Thanks for using Earthlink,
EarthlinkBilling Representative.

C'mon now guys! Can't you even make an attempt to locate an English-speaking hacker before launching your elablorate phishing scheme? A while back I almost fell for one of these, because they used the actual Earthlink logo and everything, but I've learned to read between the lines on these and spot the telltale grammatical and syntactical errors that give the whole game away.

This one that I received today, however, is a really poor effort I must say. If you are stupid enough to fall for a gag like this after even a casual read-thru, you didn't deserve to have your own identity to begin with.

Four More Beers

2004-11-02T20:55:00.000-08:00

Well, for a minute there things looked promising, but the asswipes in Florida and Ohio decided that they wanted to spend the next few thousand days watching the economy go down the toilet even further and fighting a war with a country that was absolutely no threat to us before we got the bright idea to change their regime. People are so scared of terrorists huffing and puffing and blowing their houses down now that they are willing to get behind a president who can't string two coherent sentences together just because he is telling them that they will be safer under his watch.

Well I hate to wake anybody up from their daydream, but nobody can protect us from the evil forces conspiring against us. We are just playing into their hands at this point and giving them exactly what they want--namely an enemy they can all agree upon and focus their hatred toward. And as long as we continue to treat people as a threat before we even try to understand their positions or philosophies, we are just asking for more pain and heartbreak in the coming years.

As much as we try to tell ourselves otherwise, the world has always been a scary and unsettling place. But keeping a guy in office who is only looking out for himself and the people who support his positions cannot possibly result in any other outcome than what we already have now. And all I can say now is that the people who so desperately wished for things to same the same will soon be looking for any reason other than themselves to blame for the upcoming failures of this administration, but at least some of us out there truly know who is at fault here.

Get Out The Boat

2004-11-01T20:25:00.000-08:00

Is this actually possible? It seems like just last night, I was handing candy out to the ghosts and goblins of Silverlake, and now it is almost time to go to the polls and cast my vote for the next president of the free world. In any case, tomorrow should be a memorable day, especially for the states who vote for Bush and get blown to smithereens seconds later by Osama and his crew of merrymakers.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here and give Kerry the victory. I know I am probably feeling the influence of living in a bohemian enclave of Los Angeles, but I just think that there are too many people fed up now with the way things are going to let Bush keep on trucking for much longer. There was a huge anti-Bush demonstration on the end of my street as I was driving home tonight, and it just made me realize that there was a good possibility that Kerry could actually pull this off tomorrow.

My bigger fear is that the people of the United States won't be able to make any decision at all, or that this election will be held up in the court system for the next six months. It really seems like we are almost unable to make any firm decisions in this country any more, with everyone screaming their viewpoint from both sides of the fence. We teach kids that their vote counts, and that everyone's voice deserves to be heard, but I don't think we really know how to deal with the people who actually listen to that claptrap and act on their convictions.

Funnin' With The Devil

2004-10-30T06:31:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I know tomorrow is Halloween and all that. Our house is so creepy looking and poorly lit that we've been here for five years and have yet to have one trick-or-treater come begging. In any case, the real holiday is tonight--Devil's Night! Of course, in California, mentioning Devil's Night has about the same effect as telling someone that you had a week off from school in the seventh grade because of an ice storm.

For the uninitiated, Devil's Night is the one night of the year when you get to mess shit up in your neighborhood and not get in trouble for it. Admittedly, things were pretty messed up in Detroit already, so it was probably hard to tell the difference...

As soon as it got dark on the 30th, you would meet up with some friends, grab some supplies, and go right over to the house of somebody you couldn't stand in the 'hood and let them have it. As long as you didn't break anything, soaping up windows, pelting houses with eggs, and tossing multiple rolls of toilet paper up in the trees was an activity that most people just tolerated on the night before Halloween. And it was always fun to wake up the next day and see whose house got it the worst!

Of course, some people grew weary of all this destruction over the years and tried to fight back or protect their property, which always seemed both futile and entertaining all at the same time. There was one old guy in our neighborhood who we called Ziggy that would hide behind his car with a baseball bat waiting for someone to toss an egg in his direction. He must have felt really silly sitting out there all night only to find out that we had totally TP'd the tree in his backyard anyway while he was on patrol.

The fun on Devil's Night wasn't always that innocent, though. One time, I squeezed a bunch of packets of tartar sauce into the gas tank of a car owned by an incredibly fat woman who lived across the street from us. I never saw her car move again, and a couple of weeks later, they towed it away for good. I blame the devil, totally, for that one...

Don't Blog In The Subway

2004-10-28T05:57:00.000-07:00

Yes, Victoria, Los Angeles does have a subway. And it even goes to a bunch of different places all over the city, although most of them are places you wouldn't want to go to (even in your car). Still, the subway is clean, fairly quick, and even fun at times as it transitions from underground to above-ground numerous times during your journey.

The best part about the subway is that it is free. That's right--you don't need to pay anything to ride. Now technically, you are supposed to buy a ticket from the machine when you enter the station, but nobody has ever asked me to see mine, so what is the point? Even if you got caught and they kicked you off, you can just walk right back on for free! It is really a beautiful thing, and the reason why Los Angeles subsidizes every subway ride that you take to the tune of about $27 dollars!

The worst part of the subway is that it is filled with people who don't drive. And since everybody drives in LA, this is not necessarily a good thing. Since any good Angelino worth his salt is on the surface behind the wheel of his 1975 Datsun 210, that leaves a whole class of people riding underground that you wouldn't normally want to meet underground. I don't think I've ever been on a ride where I haven't had some guy screaming next to me, or crying, or acting in some other manner that didn't give me cause for concern. But, hey, where else can you get this much entertainment for free in Los Angeles?

Bench Warrant

2004-10-26T21:30:00.000-07:00

As part of my teacher training program at Cal State, I have to observe for a few days every quarter in a regular classroom to see what it is like in the "real world" of teaching. Mainly, I think it is just a way to scare people out of the teaching profession, but so far I have managed to hang in there and remain fairly positive about this potential career change, even though there is an overwhelming about of negative information out there if you are looking for it.

Today was not a good day in sixth grade. Apparently, the kids got a little out of control with a substitute teacher yesterday, and as a result, Mrs. C. came down on them like a ton of bricks today. All the kids were "benched" at lunch, which I guess means they had to eat their lunch in the classroom as they worked on their four-page essays on responsibility and telling the truth.

Although I respect this teacher for standing up to her kids and trying to get them to stop screwing around and do their work, at some point I think the yelling starts to lose its impact and just becomes another thing to laugh about after class. She actually had one of the kids crying out in the hall today, which I'm sure will go over big with his classmates on the playground tomorrow.

The thing abut sixth grade is that it still does not really count for much yet. Nobody looks at grades until high school really, so most of these kids have plenty of time to change their attitudes and shape up in school. The problem is, however, that most of them won't. These kids adopt behavior patterns as early as elementary school, and carry them out well into adulthood. The sixth grade screw ups who lose their homework and toss paper airplanes around all day are most likely not going to finish high school. Even if they do, their skills are so poor that they will never get past the high school exit exam currently being phased in by the state of California.

It is really sad to think that a kid's academic life can be over by middle school, but with very few resources to spread around at public schools, and no support or discipline coming from the parents, it is pretty likely that they direction they are heading in will be the one they will keep heading in until they get to the end of their very short road.

Time To Make The Blognuts

2004-10-25T08:59:00.000-07:00

I have a feeling that the title of this post will be the most interesting thing about it today. For once, I have a rare day off where I don't really have to do anything. On a Monday. When everybody else is at work.

Well, that is not entirely true. I have to blog. And do laundry. And run nine miles later on for our marathon training even though we've been slacking off lately and I think we should mellow it out a bit this week. And I have a ton of school stuff to catch up with. So I guess I have plenty of things on my plate.

These days, I can only truly relax when there is absolutely nothing to do. If I have something coming up in three days, then I am thinking about that instead. Or trying to figure out how I can get ahead on schoolwork by completing assignments early. But even if I do that, I never seem to catch up for long anyhow. I don't really know how I became the kind of person who always has something to do...

At my 20 year high school reunion, I felt a slight sense of relief for a moment. I think I realized that somehow I had made it twenty years down the road from all of those formative experiences, and that I was OK. That no matter where I was at in my life, that at least I had made it this far. Because some people certainly didn't, or are now sitting in jail cell wishing they hadn't.

A few years back, about once week or so, I used to tell myself that I was starting over. That starting today, I would be more organized, or have a better attitude. Or start working on some long-delayed project. At least I have gotten over that delusion. When used to work in the movie business, a guy once told me that his career was like working on one long movie shoot. I think I agree with that sentiment.

I am not going to work over and over again day after ridiculous day. I am always at work. Not repeating the same things, but experiencing slight variations on a repetitive theme. And the trick is to appreciate those variations, and find ways to react to those situations in a more positive and effective way. So when they happen again (and again), instead of feeling like I am just starting over, I can see that some sort of progress is being made.

Don't Knock The Cock

2004-10-24T11:06:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to make a general announcement to the people responsible for the flood of spam that fills my inbox daily, in spite of my best efforts to stop it...

My penis is just fine! Please take me off your stupid list.

It really does not need to be any larger. It suits my purposes very well. Even if it didn't, I would not be stupid enough to believe that women even care about that kind of thing. Maybe if you could find a way to make my wallet larger, or my brain...

Also, I would like to point out that my penis has no problem doing what a penis is supposed to do. I do not need thirty offers each day to sell me a generic supplement to make it do something that it can do just fine on its own. Think of all the millions you are wasting marketing your garbage to people like me. Haven't you ever heard of targeting your audience?

And oh yeah, once and for all for the record--I'm not gay. Or Russian. Or from outer space. And I am not falling for it when you tell me I'm approved for a mortgage that my penis and I never asked for.

No Place Like Dome

2004-10-22T17:30:00.000-07:00

Got to see something really cool last night. The Cinerama Dome in Hollywood was having a special screening of "This Is Cinerama," the film that started the whole five-minute long Cinerama craze. Actually, I think there were a few Cinerama films made in the early '50s, but this was the only one that was even relatively successful, running for 122 weeks straight in Hollywood (at a different theater) and raking in almost four million 1952-sized dollars.

For those of you not in the know, Cinerama was a process that used a special camera that shot three magazines of film at once through lenses pointed in three different directions. When projected back (using three projectors, naturally), the image was supposed to cover most of what your eyes could take in, including the periphery. Of course, you have to ignore the two "join" lines that are formed at the intersection of the three images, and the fact that all three images look slightly different (last night the center was darker).

Cinerama was a big pain in the ass mostly, as it required five projectionists to run the projectors and advanced sound equipment in the theaters. This format was also the first to feature multi-channel stereo in the theaters, which I believe was captured by up to five microphones at once. Pretty impressive stuff back in 1952 I'm sure, but now nothing more than a curiosity.

Nevertheless, if you ever get a chance to see "This Is Cinerama," in one of the two theaters left that can still show it (the other is in Dayton. Ohio), I would highly recommend that you do. The opening roller coaster sequence and footage from the now-defunct but soon to be resurrected Cypress Gardens in Florida is well worth the price of admission. Even with the technical limitations and challenges of this medium, it was still convincing enough to make the lady in front of us totally queasy after the first five minutes, so that should be enough proof for ya!

The Price Of Peace (And Quiet)

2004-10-21T07:57:00.000-07:00

Feeling a little subversive? Then this just may be the thing for you:

http://www.tvbgone.com/

For about fifteen bucks, this little doohickey claims to contain IR codes that will shut down almost any TV anywhere. I don't know how many times I've been sitting in a doctor's office, or at the VW dealer, when I had the secret desire to just shut the damn TV off and just sit in silence for a while. Or restaurants. Or the grocery store. Or almost anywhere, really.

They can sign me up for one of these for sure. Well, actually, they can't, 'cause the site is down right now. I think this will be fun for a couple months, until everybody knows that these exist.
Even so, I can't think of much that could be done to thwart this, unless they just start sticking tape over the electric eye of the TVs in public places. Of course, the ones at places like the airport are mounted way up on the ceiling, so that would be real inconvenient for the people who work there--not that I am suggesting that you go down to LAX and shut off all their televisions! Then people might actually have to talk to each other. Come to think of it, maybe I don't want one...

I Sing About The Body Of Electrics

2004-10-20T20:54:00.000-07:00

An incomplete list of all the recent technology that has added something of value to my life, in no particular order:

1. SanDisk Cruzer Micro USB Thumb Drive--I think that absolutely everybody who owns a computer manufactured within the last five years should have one of these. I own the smallest version (128 MB), yet I never seem to run out of uses for this thing. This is the best way I have found to transfer files from my Mac to my PC, or to take files downloaded from our blazing T1 at work back home at the end of the day. I have transferred hundred of things to this flash drive, and have never had any trouble whatsoever retrieving my information. Furthermore, this is truly a plug-and-play device. I have plugged this in to about a half-dozen computers, and it has never once failed to pop right up on the desktop in seconds.

2. Cyberhome Multi-Region DVD player--I initially had some misgivings about picking up a $59 Chinese DVD player that claimed to do so many things, but I have been more than pleasantly surprised by this purchase so far. This baby will play discs from any region ya got, and will also convert PAL discs to NTSC. In addition, this player has been able to handle DVD-Rs and other weird discs that my old player wouldn't even recognize, and it even plays JPGs from the Kodak CD-ROMs that you get now from the film developer. Rock On!

3. iPod--Goes without saying of course, but I have beat my OG 5 gig unit to death, and it still comes out fighting. The output jack is in pretty bad shape now, and I recently had to replace the battery, but I have no plans of replacing the old girl anytime soon, since the idea of being able to carry around 1000 songs in my pocket is still one that blows me away if I really think about it.

4. KORG DT-10 Stompbox Guitar Tuner--This is a really great thing for all you axe-wielding maniacs out there. Has incredibly bright LEDs that make it a breeze to tune up on stage, and since it mutes the output when you hit the switch, it is possible to tune up between every song if you are so inclined without bugging the band or your adoring fans. Guitar tuning is one of those black arts, but this box helps to shed a little light on the subject.

5. XP Pro OS--I hate to admit it, being a Mac guy and all, but this system I am typing on now has been rock steady ever since I put this box together about six months ago. I would go as far as saying I don't ever think that it has crashed, and it has almost made this old Apple polisher sing a far different tune.

Phoning It In

2004-10-19T20:38:00.000-07:00

So what is the big deal with cellphones anyway? I mean, people are totally obsessive when it comes to them. And apparently I'm obsessed with writing about cellphones, because this is the second post this week about the topic.

In any case, I just somehow fail to see what is all that great about being able to carry a phone around with you during your daily routine. Sure, it is a great thing to have if you drive your car off a cliff, or if the Nobel Prize people are trying to contact you about your award money. But otherwise, I think it would just be one big hassle to drag one of those things to and fro all the time, and have people constantly bugging me for god knows what when I am god knows where.

And just who are all these people talking to anyway? Who needs to hold a conversation at 6:30 AM on the drive to work? And what is so important that it can't wait to be discussed until after
you step off the stationary bike at the gym?

I don't really know what my hangup (no pun intended) is with these things. I guess I just don't see the appeal of a device that not only allows work to contact me at all hours of the day, but also takes terrible, grainy pictures and plays awful-sounding snippets of popular songs with all the fidelity of that Human League cassette that sat on the dashboard of your Mercury Lynx throughout the entire summer of 1983.

Return To Sender

2004-10-18T21:32:00.000-07:00

Do people ever send you pictures via e-mail? Lots of pictures? So many pictures that they shut down your mailbox temporarily? Unnecessarily large pictures of things you don't really care about? Well then join the club!

Now don't get me wrong--sometimes I enjoy a picture or two from an event that I attended, wished I could have attended, or even a picture of someone's new car, puppy, or kid (in that order). But more often then not, people just don't think before they send pictures. And if you are still living in the stone ages using a dial-up service at home like we are, having your mailbox tied up for an hour-and-a-half can seriously bum out your mood.

More often then not, people who send pictures send them to you twice. Or three times. Just to be safe. Then there are the pictures that get sent upside-down, or with the colors inverted (this really happened to me once). Or the absolutely humungous files that tie up your computer for twenty minutes just so that you can have the distinct pleasure of viewing someone's new kitchen cabinets. Or the people who feel the need to send you six different pictures of the same thing, but from slightly different angles.

So here is some advice for you indiscriminate picture posters. First, bring down the resolution to something reasonable, like 600x600 pixels. Then, think about cropping your images to cut out the top three inches of sky in the picture above your head. Finally, put yourself in the shoes of the recipient for a minute. Do people really need to see every facial expression your are capable of making? Or a whole series of pictures of the seagull that ate your sandwich out of your picnic basket?

One or two pictures can say a lot. But just because your digital camera can store 720 images does not mean that I want you to send them all to me.

First, Last, and Insecurity

2004-10-17T11:22:00.000-07:00

There is a new twist in the story of our ongoing rental distress as of late. We are being sued!

Well not really, but the person acting as our surrogate landlord says we can expect a call from his lawyer about the fact that the health department, building code board, and elder abuse people have all been on his ass lately. Of course, he doesn't have any confirmation that we have been initiating these calls, but he is definitely getting suspicious.

This weekend, our pseudo-landlord left a seven-minute message on our machine. He couldn't understand what was wrong with spreading steer manure on the leaves in the backyard, keeping about 75 jugs of fetid water outside on the property, and turning the whole place into a refuge for wayward pigeons. When we moved in, the place was really spiffy, but since this guy has arrived, it is starting to resemble the back lot of the LA Zoo.

I returned the idiot's call yesterday and told him that I had no idea who was harassing him, but that I didn't want to get mixed up in any of his drama, and then promptly hung up on him. I told him that I just wanted to live here in peace, pay the rent, and have him stay the hell out of our lives. We'll see how well that goes over I guess.

The basic thing I have learned from all this, if anything, is that people are free to live however the hell they want to live, even if what they are doing is damaging to themselves and others around them. As long as you don't get caught physically harming someone or stealing their stuff, it is perfectly OK to live illegally in this country, not pay taxes or work, and basically live at a subsistence level off the labors of others. It is not really what I would call living of course, but then I guess it ain't my life.

Hand It Over, Son

2004-10-16T08:38:00.000-07:00

Well now I've done it! Totally forgot to write something yesterday. I guess I could cheat and switch the date on the bottom here and nobody would be the wiser, but I guess I'll let it slide. It is not like the blogger police are gonna come knock down my door or anything.

Anyway, I just finished up a handwriting assignment for school. That's right--handwriting! Upper and lower case cursive letters. A skill I have not practiced since 1974! And let me tell ya, when I write out this stuff, it looks like a third-grader's hand is still attached to my arm. And I notice that the slower I try to write out these letters, the shakier they look!

I had to write out a handwritten affirmation when I took the LSAT a few years back (score: 152). I think the hardest part of the test was the handwriting! I had just about finished one line of the six I needed to write when everyone else had already started the test!

Of course, the reason for this is that cursive writing is just a plot to frustrate left-handed people to no end. Having to drag your hand across the letters you have just written without being able to lift it from the page makes your effort look like one long charcoal stain, and pretty much ensures that you will be walking around with a half-black left hand for the rest of the day.

Think it is just a coincidence that we print from left to right in the US? Think again.

Can You Hear Me Now? No!!!

2004-10-14T19:09:00.000-07:00

I don't own a cellphone anymore. I used to have one a few years back, but I kept forgetting it in my car and on the rare occasion when I needed it, of course the battery would be totally dead from sitting in my glovebox for months.

I have almost no patience for people who call me from a cell, since inevitably the connection goes sour, and I end up having to repeat myself six times to get my point across. I always wonder why people act like this is the greatest thing that has ever been devised by man, since the damn things never work. Nobody would put up with a car that only worked 25% of the time, but it is perfectly acceptable to expect that kind of performance from their phones.

These infernal contraptions are constantly going off in my office, and to make matters even worse, my co-workers seem to choose the most annoying songs known to man as their ringtones. My favorite thing is when they leave the phones sitting around in the office when they are gone, and I am repeatedly treated to the latest ditties by Creed or 50 Cent at an ear-splitting volume in all their low-fi glory.

I think the absolute worst thing though, is the people who yack away in line at the grocery story, and barely acknowledge the person who is ringing up or bagging their groceries. I am hoping that there is a special circle of hell reserved for these inconsiderate jerks--one with especially terrible reception.

Work Is A Four-Letter Word

2004-10-13T19:51:00.000-07:00

I don't like my job very much anymore. I guess this is no big secret to anybody who knows me, but I've really reached a place where I feel like I am wasting my time at this point and just delaying the inevitable every time I step foot in that office. After being passed up for promotion this year, and not seeing any real change in my future advancement possibilities, I really wonder why I even bother to show up anymore. Oh yeah--they still pay my bills for me!

The frustrating thing is that there are so many aspects of the job that are really stellar, including the pay, the hours, and the fact that I am pretty much unsupervised as I go about my daily tasks. I'm sure there are a million people that would trade places with me, but I just can't get beyond the fact that this is just a gig, and not a job with any serious career potential, or at least any that I am interested in at all.

On the brighter side, I have a new boss who is at least attempting to improve the conditions at the office, at least as much as he is able to given what he has to work with. He is, at any rate, a huge improvement over my former boss, who had a hands-off management style that allowed personnel and performance issues to fester for years until finally something gave way, which usually meant someone's temper. There were so many problems that could have been avoided if he had just paid a little more attention to what his employees were telling him, and tried to take some decisive action to deal with these issues before someone said or did something that they did (or didn't) regret.

In any case, continuing to plug away at school gives me some hope that someday things will get better. In the meanwhile, I'm going to try to shut off the endless tape loop that plays in my head telling me how much I hate doing what I do. Because really, what is the point of telling myself that anymore? We have already established this, and it is not like I'm going to suddenly forget this fact and start to love my job if I don't constantly remind myself that I really don't...

Ode To My Bathroom (With Apologies To Tom Robbins)

2004-10-12T22:08:00.000-07:00

This is the room of the black and white tile. Black and white and black and white until you enter and notice the faded flowers of the pastel-colored wallpaper left by tenants who passed through this place long ago.

This is the room of perfumes and powders and mirrors facing mirrors This is the room where the clock always stops, and the water drips, drips, drips incessantly on the black and white.

So what room is this? Here is a small clue: this is the room where the cats like to visit you when you'd rather not be visited. The room where your thoughts meander and your teeth go to get clean. In this place, many can fit inside, yet only one usually dares to enter.

In this room, I can hide from the demands of my lover's body, but I cannot ignore the needs of my own.

Run Like H-E-Double Hockeysticks

2004-10-11T18:52:00.000-07:00

So we knocked off another eight miles this morning. 16,851 steps according to my pedometer. I never look forward to this slow torture during the week, but once I get going, it ain't all that bad. Hard to believe that this is still less than one-third of the distance of the total marathon we will be running in March!

I've only been asked by about thirty people now how many miles we wll be running on the day. It's a marathon! Since poor Phidippides ran across the face of Greece to report the successful outcome of some long-forgotten battle ("Nike!" he said), this distance has been the exact same. Twenty-frigging-six-point-two miles. That's about 52,000 steps according to my Sportbrain USB step counter.

We went and registered for the damn thing last weekend, so I guess there is no turning back now. Our team is called "The Ultimate Losers." I stole the name from the movie Slacker. This will be the first time I have participated in an organized sporting event since I joined a t-ball team in elementary school.

Nine miles on the slate for next week. Wish me luck!

Thinking (About Staying) Out Of The Box

2004-10-10T05:33:00.000-07:00

I was feeling a little stressed out last night about work and school and my future and the fact that my car is all screwed up, so I decided to take a short run after work. Karen and I are training for the Los Angeles Marathon next year, so I needed to get in a couple more miles this week before our big run (8 miles) on Monday anyway.

One of the places I run is straight over the Hyperion bridge into Atwater and back, even though some of the points I pass through along the way are sketchy at best. I guess I rationalize this by telling myself that I will be running through these questionable zones, and that since I don't ever bother to carry my wallet, there isn't much that could happen even if I was harassed.

In any case, I have been noticing a store lately in Atwater that popped up a few years back that I pass on this run (right before I turn around to head back). They sell coffins. You heard me straight, Jack. Right in the middle of the fancy bird store and the coffee shop with the industrial decor is a coffin showroom.

I read an article about these guys a couple years ago that was kind of interesting. Apparently, you couldn't buy coffins on the retail level until a few years ago because the funeral homes had the market all sewn up (pardon the pun). Of course, to pay for the convenience of buying it "on the spot" so to speak, you paid a hefty premium. Well I guess now you can just walk in to a store and make your final purchase while you are still alive and kicking.

Anyway, I decided for some reason to take a look in the window last night and see what they had. Not that I'm in the market or anything, but after the eight-mile run tomorrow I may be changing my mind. Well I am glad to report that you can now be buried in a pink paisley coffin! Or at least that is what it looked like through the dark window last night. I'll have to take a look during the daytime at some point to see if that was really the case.

At any rate, looking at these display models had a strangely calming effect on my last night. I guess I just needed to realize that all the stuff I get so worked up about will not keep me out of one of those satin-lined receptacles. And that just like I can't avoid my ultimate disposition, I can't really do all that much to change any of the things that I worry about. I know this is hardly an earth-shattering revelation, but you try coming up with fresh material for your blog on a daily basis and let me know if you fare any better!

The Secrets Is Out!

2004-10-09T16:41:00.000-07:00

Are you tired of surfing the same old Internet day after tedious day? Well, apparently, there are numerous "Internets" out there for you to visit. Just ask the president--he'll tell you all about them. Also, while you are at it, be sure to ask him if he owns any lumber yards...

Take Another Picture

2004-10-09T05:35:00.000-07:00

Way back when I was in college (the first time), it never really occurred to me to document the experiences I was having through writing or taking pictures. I have very vivid memories of those times still, but I am kind of envious of people who have the ability today to document every minute detail of their formative years through digital imagery and blogging. I often wonder if this technology had been available back when I was in school if I would have obsessively captured each small moment of my life as it unfolded, or if I would have still just enjoyed my life as it happened, and only bothered to take a few pictures here and there along the way.

It also fascinates me to think what people will be able to do with all of this information once they have amassed it. Will we now be able to look back at our lives years later and recognize patterns or turning points in our lives that resulted in us becoming who we are as an individual? Will the ability to scrutinize our behavior and attitudes of the past help us to shape our future? And will the sheer volume of imagery and text deprive us of something even greater, namely the ability to use our intellect and memory to transform these experiences into the folklore that we all carry around with us throughout our lives?

I sometimes wish I had more pictures of long-forgotten people and events, but I don't know if I would trade that for the ability to make sense of my past using whatever information I have managed to gather up and retain throughout the years. Pictures and diaries are fine, but I think in a way they make you lazy, allowing you to remember each moment as a specific event, rather than letting the collective experiences of our lives shape our memories and personalities.

May The Cube Be With You

2004-10-08T05:47:00.000-07:00

The Rubik's Cube has got to be the best thing ever invented during my lifetime. Well, I think in the past I have said that about the Polaroid SX-70 fold-up camera as well, but today I am all about the cube. The story I heard was that it was developed for some Russian research project on DNA or something, and that the inventor, Dr. Erno Rubik, had to surrender the patent and all rights to the Russian government, since it was developed while he was employed by them. Admittedly, this could all be a bunch or crap, but that is what I remember hearing.

If you have ever taken the cube apart (which all good cheaters eventually do), you were undoubtedly impressed by the simplicity of the design, especially how he got all the pieces to articulate in various direction around a central hub. Of course, you could have just peeled off the stickers and re-arranged them as well, but that messes up to cube permanently, and is only for the truly unambitious.

Back in the early '80s, we even had the Rubik's Cube world champion at our high school. Mike Mandell could solve the cube from any position in like fifteen moves, It was truly mind-blowing. I think he even got to be on the show "That's Incredible!" You can go on the internet now and have someone walk you through a solution, but it is still a challenging puzzle even after you have seen the solution.

It seemed like a smaller world when I was growing up. When something like the Rubik's Cube came along, absolutely everybody I knew had one, and we all talked at length about it and spent all our waking hours trying to find the solution to the damn thing. I miss the shared cultural experience of enjoying a truly revolutionary new concept with a large group of friends and classmates. There is so much going on these days, that I doubt we will ever see an all-encompassing phenomenon like the Rubik's Cube again. But maybe we don't need to. This thing is enough for an entire lifetime's worth of admiration.

Movies By Mail

2004-10-07T06:25:00.000-07:00

Is anyone else out there as impressed by Netflix as I am? I've been a member (on and off) for a few years now, and it always amazes me to see so many people buying crappy DVDs at places like Best Buy, when they can rent the same crappy DVD over and over again any time they want for one reasonable monthly fee. If you buy at least one DVD a month, or rent a movie once a week, you have no reason not to consider becoming a member of Netflix.

If you don't know how it works, Netflix is a service that mails you out three movies initially and then lets you keep them for as long as you like for about twenty bucks a month. Whenever you are done watching and mail one of those discs back (they even pop for the postage), Netflix will mail you the next movie on the list that you maintain on their website. I would guess that I get about a dozen discs a month from them, which works out to less than two bucks a rental (less if you consider that there are never any late fees)!

Normally, I am not much of a fan of any service that charges you a fee every month whether you use their service or not. I feel that this is why our parents were able to save money and we are not. If you take into account the money we shell out every month for cable TV, the internet, cell phones, the gym etc., it all adds up to a big chunk of change every year. But if you think about it, joining Netflix makes so much more sense that amassing a huge collection of DVDs that will just take up space and rarely get watched.

With CDs, you don't have to stand still and stare at a specific place in the room for any length of time. And CDs can be used in numerous portable applications, and the songs on them can even be converted to mp3s etc. With DVDs, each one requires a time commitment on the part of the buyer that few of us have these days. I mean really, who just wants to watch only part of a movie? Of course, there are always a few "must-have" DVDs that you just feel like you need to physically possess, but as for the rest of the trash out there that passes for entertainment, I am perfectly content to let Netflix send those discs to me whenever I feel the need to indulge.

I once heard a quote (forgot by who), that people who buy books buy them because they also think they are buying the time to read them. If you agree with this sentiment, then ditch the video store and the trips to the big box retailers and give Netflix a shot.

Like A Rock?

2004-10-06T06:22:00.000-07:00

During the summer between second and third grade, the playground at my elementary school got a badly needed new asphalt top. Unfortunately, the school district must have hired the discount asphalt service. After only one winter of use, our new playground had literally shattered into hundreds of fist-sized pieces.

At third grade recess that spring, the best game we had going was to split up into two teams, proceed to gather up as many of the asphalt chunks as we could, and then commence to hurling them at each other from opposite sides of the playground. This activity went on for months, surprisingly without incident, until one day, Roger Martin, who had become quite proficient at throwing stuff by this point, threw a softball-sized section of our playground at Jimmy Shelton.
On this day, the projectile found its intended target, as it bounced right off the top of Jimmy's skull, knocking Jimmy to the ground.

All of a sudden, previously invisible teachers rushed out of nowhere and took this poor kid to the hospital. When Jimmy returned the next day, he was the proud new owner of a shaved head, featuring a huge goose egg sticking prominently out of the top of it. Later that day at school, an announcement was made over the public address system that we were no longer allowed on the playground during recess, and that we would be spending the rest of the year playing in the gym.

I lost track of Jimmy Shelton soon after high school, but I always wondered if he still remembered the details of that day as well as I did. Recently, however, I was able to find out the answer to that question when I ran into him at my 20th high school reunion. When I asked Jimmy about that fateful day, he said that not only had he remembered it that way, but that he still had the scar to prove it. And with that, Jimmy showed me the exact location where the asphalt thrown by the now-deceased Roger Martin struck him on that crisp spring afternoon in 1974. It was a mean-looking scar. And it was precisely where I thought it would be.

Third Verse, Same As The First

2004-10-05T05:25:00.000-07:00

I don't like blogging. After trying this for a week, I am convinced that this exercise is making my life pass by even faster than the week before. I have noticed recently that any time I have a specific routine or task to perform at a given interval, it seems like that interval gets shorter and shorter until the only thing I am ever doing is the specific routine or task. I guess a good example of this is that it seems like I am constantly having to visit my dentist, when in actuality I only make a regular visit every six months or so. Nevertheless, I feel like I am always just about to visit him (which I actually am again), and that the six months between the last visit and the next one passed in an instant.

I feel like I am constantly logging in to blogger.com these days, trying to think of some relevant and useful thing to say to whomever might have the unfortunate luck to stumble across this page. At least I've been pretty happy with the quality of the writing so far, and even though I don't consider myself a "writer," my professor's point from last week's class is that maybe it is time that I should.

In class, Dr. Frank was saying that as teachers, we should try to get all kids to think that they are writers, just as long as they are attempting to participate in the writing process of editing, revising and publishing etc. I am starting to agree with this sentiment, and feel that it has a larger implication in my life as well. I really believe that everyone who keeps a blog going should think of themselves as writers, whether they are happy with the quality of the writing or not. Because the fact is, you ARE writing, and in the process of that, are striving to communicate something unique to the world at large.

I always end up comparing myself to others, and often feel like I am less than they are, and that they are somehow able to be something (like a writer) that I am not. Well stuff that! For now on, I am a writer. And this writer needs to pack it in for now and head to his weekly writing class. Even though it seems like I just came back from there 30 seconds ago.

Invisible Ink

2004-10-04T16:56:00.000-07:00

Just a small tip for all those frustrated bloggers out there who have spent hours slaving over a couple of paragraphs just to watch it all disappear into the ether when they hit the "publish" button, never to be seen again. If you preview your post first, it will allow you to right-click and copy your work. That way, if the post vanishes, you can just paste all of your brilliant ideas back into a new window and try it all over again.

I've been blogging for a while now, and figured this problem would have resolved itself soon after the cash infusion by the Google people, but it seems that this set-up is still as unreliable as ever. I guess it just adds to the excitement of the whole thing, but I for one do not enjoy trying to re-create the last ten minutes of my life due to some technical glitch, so this procedure seems to be a good work-around for now...

You Can Check Out Any Time You Like...

2004-10-04T16:01:00.000-07:00

So I saw a fascinating thing on TV yesterday. It was a school board meeting (of all things) discussing the fate of the long-neglected Ambassador Hotel near downtown LA. The property was sold by Donald Trump (of all people) to the city a couple years ago for use as a new K-12 educational facility, and the school district and preservationists have been deadlocked ever since over the ultimate disposition of this shabby building.

Although it was certainly a splendid thing in its time, the Ambassador has certainly seen better days. I worked down there on a film a few years back, and personally witnessed entire wings of the main building that looked as if they were ready to collapse. The hotel, closed since the eighties, has been used in numerous films over the years, including the interior scenes for "That Thing You Do" and "Catch Me If You Can," among many others. It is easy to think that there is still something worth saving when you watch those films, but you have to remember that when the production companies leave, they take all their spiffy period furniture and wallpaper with them. The hotel itself was extensively re-modeled in the sixties, and most of the good stuff was gone long before the last guests ordered room service. Even the famed Cocoanut Grove nightclub was converted to the psychedelic-sounding "Now Grove" in the late-sixties, not long after Bobby Kennedy was gunned down in the kitchen pantry.

In any case, it was interesting to see everyone's differing perspectives on the proposed uses of the property. Basically, the school board wants to knock it all down and start over, which of course would be much more practical and economical than to try to adapt their usage to what already exists. The preservationists, however, want to save every crumbling inch of the place, even though the Kennedy family themselves feel that the best memorial to RFK would be to tear it all up and build a place where low-income students could get a decent education, instead of preserving the scene of an infamous murder for all eternity.

It will be interesting to see which way they go with this. I can tell you this much--if they decide to raze the place, you can best believe that some great stuff is gonna end up on eBay in the coming months.

Put The Needle On The Record

2004-10-03T10:37:00.000-07:00

I miss listening to records. I mean, I still have a record player and a record collection that now spans over a quarter-century of music purchases. And there is really no reason why I couldn't sit around listening to records (or even CDs) all day if I wanted to. But I don't. Not anymore.

Ever since my wife bought me an iPod and I set myself up a PC with two forty-gig drives, I've been obsessively searching for every single song that I've ever heard at any point in my life to add to my ever-increasing collection. 5605 songs at this point. Fifteen straight days of music! How can I possibly know that many songs? How can there possibly BE that many songs? Is there any limit to how many songs a person can know? I mean, if I learn a new one, doesn't that mean at some point I am forgetting an old one? These are only a few of the questions that buzz through my brain as I click through thirty or forty songs in a row until one pops up that fits my particular mood.

To get back to my original point though, I do kind of regret that songs have now become a commodity in my life. I mean, I still love listening to music, but I miss the experience of listening to a connected set of songs by a single artist, and having the time and/or patience to listen to that much music in a single sitting. Just like sitting in front of the TV with the remote, I am constantly jumping from one thing to another, searching for some perfect indescribable thing that I am forever seeking and never finding.

Little Pink Duplexes (For You & Me)

2004-10-02T08:41:00.000-07:00

So I decided last night that my 88-year-old landlord has finally gone 'round the bend. We've been dealing with an unfortunate situation in renterland for quite a while, and I am now doubling-up my efforts to force some resolution to a situation that has been deteriorating for many months now.

The story of my landlord could fill up an entire blog of its own, but the bottom line is that the guy has no family or other responsible party to make his decisions for him, so I guess I am taking that responsibility now, whether I like it or not. Mr. K spent his extended bachelorhood living with his mother (who died over 40 years ago), and running his life like some bad '70s swinger film. I mean this guy was serious--he even build sheds behind the house with mirrored ceilings and bunk beds in case the swingin' action spilled out into the backyard. Unfortunately, the key parties and wife swappin' fun apparently doesn't leave you with too many lifelong friends after the party is over.

In any case, his health is a mess and so is his place. I think he is living on premade custard pies from the grocery story, and I am not even sure if his fridge or stove even work anymore. In addition, the guy was never a neat freak to begin with, and he has now succeeded in piling crap in his living room and dining room up so high that the sunlight can no longer get in.

Last night I reported him to the building code violation people. We have also called the health department and elder abuse agency previously. Apparently, as long as you can say that you are OK, the government will let you live freely in your own house no matter what the conditions are inside your dwelling. In an age of increasing monitoring by mysterious government entities, I guess it is nice to know that we still have this freedom, but this is one case in which I wish someone would intervene soon on his behalf and ours.

The Snake That Ate His Own Tail

2004-10-01T06:35:00.000-07:00

At the risk of becoming something that I mocked just yesterday, I'm going to rap at y'all about the debate last night. I only got to watch about half of it, but I don't think that I really missed much. Bush had precisely three responses no matter what question was posed, and Kerry may have had double that number, although as expected he presented his opinions in a more eloquent and thoughtful manner.

I don't think that these debates are really going to change the outcome of the election, as you really can't learn much more about their positions in 90 minutes than you would from a twenty-second soundbite on CNN. But I find it hard to believe that ANYONE could be impressed by Bush's performance last night. Stuttering and stumbling through a set of pat answers, Dubya looked so bored and disinterested up there that you could just imagine him bolting off the stage and out into the fresh air the minute this damn thing ended. And I counted at least a dozen huge pauses in his responses last night that were followed up by a phrase or statement that he had already made like six times before. It is like he crammed for this thing in the limo on the ride over to the event.

I really don't know if Kerry can fix any of these problems that we are facing, or if anybody could for that matter. But I do know that I would feel better having someone run this country who could at least fake a little compassion and sympathy while sharing a story about an emotional meeting that he had with the wife of a soldier who was killed fighting a war that he spearheaded.

Sizing Up The Competition

2004-09-30T05:22:00.000-07:00

On the old Blogger page, you could look at some of the recently added blogs, and could also view a list of notable blogs that someone somewhere decided would be worth your while to read. However, when Google took over, all that stuff went away for some reason. Last night, using my superior powers of technical intuition, I noticed a button at the top of my blog that took me to the "next" blog. I'm feeling pretty "meta" this morning, so I will sum up some of the trends I have started to see after pushing that button a few thousand times:

#1. The One-Page Blog--These seem to feature an obscenely long rant about their kids, husband, job, or the fact that they hate somebody else who has done them wrong (usually a teacher). Most of these start (and end) on October 23rd, 2002.

#2. THe tEEnAge gaNgStA hACKer BloG: These are my least favorite, as they are usually completely indecipherable and poorly formatted. Written by people with enough time on their hands to go back and randomly capitalize letters and add the letter Z to the end of every plural word that they have written.

#3 The Religious Blog: Written by people who feel the need to express what the lord is doing for them on a daily basis.

#4 The Political Blog: If every Blogger voted in the upcoming election (assuming they are even old enough to vote), Kerry would be the winner, hands down.

#5 Blogs From Outer Space: Blogs "written" by people who seem to just cut and paste randomly chosen words and phrases to form one huge, incoherent mess. Probably perpetrated by the same mysterious individuals behind the Russian spam menace.

Soviet Spam

2004-09-29T05:21:00.000-07:00

Does anyone else get inundated with huge amounts of spam from Russia every morning like I do? I'm really wondering what I did to get on their list--did I visit a mail-order bride website at one point or something similar? I mean, my grandmother is from Russia, but she has lived in the states for eighty-nine years! The Russian language just looks like it is made up anyhow. Half the letters look backwards, and the other half just look like our letters with an extra flourish. And how can CCCP=USSR???

Anyway, welcome one and all to my morning routine. Ever since September 11th, I obsessively log in to see if I missed any earth-shattering news events while I was asleep. I can still remember signing on (this was back when we had weak-ass AOL) and reading that a plane had hit the WTC. That was about all the information they had at that point, but I just knew this was gonna be a real bad day....

Well, I just checked the Google newsfeed, and don't see any reason why I shouldn't continue on with my day at this point. Damn! Of course, maybe the Russians are trying to tell me something to the contrary, but I would never know it. Although another piece of spam this morning (this time in English) said: Why don't you just cry you stupid cry baby. Your wrong. Soon the men begin to gather.

Sounds vaguely ominous, huh? Maybe that is reason enough to go back to bed...

Gentlemen, Start Your Engines!

2004-09-28T20:35:00.000-07:00

At the request of my writing instructor, Dr. Carolyn Frank, I've decided to take ten minutes out of my hectic life each day to try to write something down that is vaguely representative of my life at this moment in time. When the ten minutes are up, so am I, so I may trail off in mid-sentence, never to return to that thought again.

In any case, I started a new semester at school today. Ironically, I also started college at roughly the same time twenty years ago this month. Least you think I am the perpetual student, I took a big break in the middle (thirteen years or so). I have been enjoying it more this time around, at least on the academic level, although my anxieties, confusion, and self-defeating thought patterns are never far behind me.

Nevertheless, I am doing smashingly well in these classes, and hold down a 3.85 grade-point average. I am fairly relaxed at school by this point, yet still doubtful that I will ultimately succeed, which I guess serves as the the gasoline that fuels my effort and seems to pull me through the seemingly impossible demands on my energy and time. My task this week is to find a 4th grader to follow around all semester, and not get arrested in the process!